[TimeRider]

Marriage joke
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"

[Anushajain]

A Man’s Feeling :….

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“It feels Like a Mini heart attack when I dont find my Mobile in my pocket ..

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& its almost like Heart Fail when I see it in my Girlfriend’s hand !

[TimeRider]

Black humour joke
Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic. Alex was crying very loudly. Johnny: Why are you crying? Alex: I came here for a blood test. Johnny: So? Are you afraid? Alex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. After hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now? Johnny: I came for a urine test!

[Anushajain]

Two Best advices for safe life :
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1. Always speak the truth, no matter how bitter harsh it is ..
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2. Run immediately after saying it..

[Anushajain]

Gals have two major problems with their wardrobe:
1. Nothing to wear &
2. No place to keep her clothes.
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Guys have two major problems with their laptop:
1. Nothing to watch &
2. No space for anything new..!!

[TimeRider]

I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.

[singhabhishek251]

Nice jokes here, I am very bad at jokes and I am sorry that I have not contributed here, but will try to contribute soon. The joke I liked the most is one conversation about My Computer.

[TimeRider]

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

[Anushajain]

When my parents are asleep
Me: “Shh they are sleeping.”

When I’m asleep
Parents:”Lets vacuum the house for 3 hours.”

[TimeRider]

Status: I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.

[Anushajain]

Apple = Vitamins

Vitamins = Power

Pwer = Work

Work = Money

Money = GF

GF = Tension

Tension = Heart Attack

Heart Attack = Death

See what all prblms an apple can make xP=P

[TimeRider]

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

[Anushajain]

A Beggar Found Rs. 100/-
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He Went To A 5 Star Hotel For Dinner…
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Bill Rs. 3000/-
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He was unable to pay!!!
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Manager Handed Him To Police!!!
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He Gave Rs. 100/- To Policeman & Free!!!
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Its Called FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT Without MBA..!!!

[TimeRider]

Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing!
Electricity: Keep talking bitches!

[Anushajain]

How Much SECRETS are Hidden On A Cell
Phone is Directly Proportional To
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How Quickly U Snatch it Back When
Someone Takes it..=P =D

[Arpit]

It`s funny how fast you can wake up when you realize you`ve overslept.

[Anushajain]

Little Johnny : Mam,Will you punish me for something that I didn’t do?? ?_?

Teacher : Not at all. ]

Little Johnny : That’s good. Actually I didn’t do my homework!!!!!

[Arpit]

Wife to Husband: "Come Help Me in Garden.."

Husband: "Wat do U think I am A Gardener??"

Wife: "Come Fix the Toilet Faucet..!"

Husband:What do U Think I am A Plumber??"

Wife: "Come fix the Door Handle.."

Husband: What do U Think I am A Carpenter??

[The Husband Went Out but When He came Back, He Saw that Everything was Fixed..! The Garden, Toilet Faucet & the Door Handle..!]

He Asked his Wife Who did It??

The Wife Said: "Its the Neighbor's Pintu's Father, But He gave Me to Options... Either to Make Him a Burger; Or have A Kiss With Him..!"

Husband: I'm Sure, U gave Him a Burger..! )

Wife: "What do U Think I am 'McDonald's' !!! ??" -

[Anushajain]

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry ’cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas!

[Anushajain]

Two Tigers were resting under a tree..
Suddenly a RABBIT passed very fast
Tiger could not make out & asked
“What was that?”

2nd Tiger smiled and said:
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Fast Food..xP