[Tendz]

“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.”
– W. C. Fields

[Abigael]

“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.”
– Ashleigh Brilliant

[cmoneyspinner]

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[Tendz]

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
– W. C. Fields

[verity]

I wish I had invented blue jeans. They have expression, modesty, sex appeal, simplicity - all I hope for in my clothes.

Yves Saint Laurent

[Tendz]

“We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”
– W. H. Auden

[cmoneyspinner]

"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run." - Dennis Miller, Comedian

[verity]

I was at dinner with Gene Wilder and imitated Ethel Barrymore for everyone.

Dom DeLuise

[A K Rao]

[Tendz]

“A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”
– Walter Bagehot

[GuestHu]

Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing nothing for years.

[cmoneyspinner]

"She's the meanest and dumbest girl in school, but she keeps passin' because even teachers are afraid of big Dolores. " (From the movie "Hope Floats")

[Tendz]

“My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.”
– Walter Matthau

[cmoneyspinner]

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[GuestHu]

"You know what African mothers tell their children everyday? 'Be grateful for what you have, because there are fat children starving in Mississippi.' " --Trevor Noah

[verity]

Happiness is like those palaces in fairy tales whose gates are guarded by dragons: we must fight in order to conquer it.

Alexandre Dumas

[anilmr]

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
—Jack Handey

[verity]

This is the worst President ever. He George W. Bush is the worst President in all of American history.

Helen Thomas

[Tendz]

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”
– Will Rogers

[cmoneyspinner]

"Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of a day."