[cmoneyspinner]

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[verity]

If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings of the New, he would be insane.

Robert Green Ingersoll

[anilmr]

Here are my funny quotes for the day:
"You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!"
"Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you."

[Tendz]

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

[philo]

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
– Alan Dundes

[Tendz]

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
– Abraham Lincoln

[cmoneyspinner]

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[GuestHu]

"Kids don't hear their mothers calling, but they hear that motherf**cking ice cream truck" --Eddie Murphy

[anilmr]

These are my favourite funny quotes for today:
"The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream." - Bill Murray
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." - Mark Twain

[Tendz]

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
– Abraham Lincoln

[verity]

Find out how much God has given you and from it take what you need; the remainder is needed by others.

Saint Augustine

[Tendz]

“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”
– Abraham Lincoln

[verity]

It was so much fun playing simple American bluegrass. I got to meet Doc Watson.

Dan Fogelberg

[Tendz]

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”
– Al McGuire

[GuestHu]

"I wish people would stop making fun of fat people. They have enough sh*t on their plates" -- Eddie Murphy

[verity]

Accept the terrible responsibility of life with eyes wide open.

Jordan Peterson

[Tendz]

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
– Alan Dundes

[Tendz]

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”
– Albert Camus

[GuestHu]

"Two things are infinite. The universe and human stupidity" --Albert Einstein

[Tendz]

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”– Albert Einstein