[verity]

Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself. Christina Grimmie

[Tendz]

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it"– Bob Hope

[verity]

My job is making money, helping other people make money. I am spending money, trying to make sure more people get rich, because you cannot spend a lot of money, right? So my job is spending money, helping others. This is a headache. Jack Ma

[Tendz]

[Amaka divine]

My neighbour who drinks a lot came home and started shouting at his wife to give him his #1000 she stole from his wallet. The innocent woman was about crying that she did not steal his money when a little boy knocked at the door with my neighbor's wallet saying he left it at their bar last night after drinking

[verity]

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don't get so worked up about other things by kenneth_branagh.

[Tendz]

"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public"– Bryan White

[verity]

Change your life today. Don't gamble on the future, act now, without delay.

[Tendz]

“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or Leave it"– Buddy Hackett

[verity]

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

[naxewp81]

“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or Leave it"– Buddy Hackett

I really this one. It's somewhat nostalgic

[verity]

Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.

[Tendz]

[verity]

If you imagine yourself to be someone who is very uncomfortable in their own skin, then it does funny things to your voice.

[Tendz]

"My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine" – Caroline Rhea

[verity]

Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.l

[Tendz]

"All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height"– Casey Stengel

[verity]

Ah, my dad's whistle. On holidays when I was a kid, we would all be off in the rock pools along the beach. When it came time to go, we'd hear the whistle and we'd all come running. Like dogs! by Kate winslet

[Joseph83]

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

I see this more of motivating than funny.

[Tendz]

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early"– Charles Lamb