[ddoesmc]

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school.

Wow! This is a great one.

[vathsala]

Interview with a successful businessman:
- Tell me, how many people work in your company?
- Hmm... Approximately half.

[vathsala]

The Last Ticket

During a busy holiday weekend, a woman who was eight months pregnant went to the railway station to
return home to her husband. At the reservation counter, when her turn came, there was only one ticket left. Taking pity on a very old lady behind her in line, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which arrived with a small error: "Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."

[ksridharprasad]

Put your wife in a room and lock it.

Put your dog in another room and lock it !!!

Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours and see who is 'Happy' to see you, and who will 'BITE' you !

(You are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals who are now divorced and living happily with their dog)

Don't laugh loud... the extended version says...

Put your husband in a room and lock it.

Put your dog in another room and lock it !!!

Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours and you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you but you be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before.

[vathsala]

A: How was the paper?
B: It was easy but question 5 confused me
A: What was the question ?
B: it asked the past tense of "think" .I thought and thought and thought
and end up with writing " thinked"

[vathsala]

Proof

A mathematician is showing a new proof he came up with to a large group of peers. After he's gone through most of it, one of the mathematicians says, 'Wait! That's not true. I have a counter-example!' He replies, 'That's okay. I have two proofs.'

[Jybraek]

Ahahaha all these jokes brightened up my day..sorry I don't really have many jokes to share..but once I do hear a new one..I will post it here. For now please do keep posting. Thank you

[ksridharprasad]

DNA Test Results..

Lawyer : I have some good news and some bad news.
Client : Well, give me the bad news first.
Lawyer : The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene.
Client : Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good news?.
Lawyer : The good news is your cholesterol IS NORMAL!

[vathsala]

A: Why you are writing the letter to your granny too slow ?

B: Because her eyesight is very poor , She cant read my letter fast

[vathsala]

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school.

[vathsala]

Cat Appetites

They make cat food out of cow, fish, turkey, chicken & lamb meat—but not mouse meat, which is probably all cats want.

[ksridharprasad]

Ramesh walked into a bar one evening, sat down and said,
"Bar man, give me 1 bottle of beer, and give everybody here 2 bottles. As I am drinking, let them be drinking."

The bar man obeyed. Everybody hailed Ramesh.

As they were all drinking, Ramesh said,
"Bar man, give me 1 bowl of chicken soup, and give everybody here 2 bowls of chicken soup each, as I am eating, let them be eating."

The bar man obeyed. Everybody praised Ramesh.

Minutes later, Ramesh said,
"Bar man, bring me my bill, and bring everybody their bill, as I am paying, let them be paying."

[vathsala]

THE BIGGEST LIE

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

[vathsala]

Teacher: Why are u late, Joseph ?
Joseph : Because of a sign down the road
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late ?
Joseph: The sign said, " school ahead, go slow "

[mell678]

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

[vathsala]

School jokes

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apple

[ksridharprasad]

On a ship, the Project managers of three different companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys.
They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts.

The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship.
The Trainee did as he was commanded.
The American PM boasted of by saying, "See the guts!"

Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship.
The Trainee did as he was told.
When he came back from the water the German PM said, "See the guts!"

Now the Indian PM called out for his most Courageous man And asked him to take five similar rounds.
The Trainee promptly replied, "Tere baap ka naukar hoon kya??? "
The PM proudly said, "See the guts!"

[CorruptedTycho]

The jokes are so amazing atm.

[vathsala]

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"

[mell678]

math teacher : I have 5 bottles in one hand and 5 in the other,
what do I have in total?
student: a drinking problem.