[vathsala]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

[mell678]

wife: I saw in my dream that your buying a diamond ring for me
husband: I saw your dad paying the bill ..

[bluemeatco]

This one works better in person, but I'll give it a shot.

You: I have a great knock knock joke, but I need you to get me started.

Them: Knock Knock

You: Whos there?

Patiently wait as they ponder their choice of having you in their lives.

[mell678]

Son: "Mom can I get twenty bucks"
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money
Son: "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?"

[bluemeatco]

The biggest joke is my life....


just kidding

[vathsala]

A lady was running to catch a train to Bangalore. She reached the station and was searching for the train.
Passenger: (Asked to the station master) Sir, is this my train?
Station Master: No Madam, this is not your train, it’s railways department’s train.
Passenger: (Annoyed) That’s a good joke. Don’t act too smart. What I meant was, can I take this train to Bangalore?
Station Master: No ma’am, you cannot! This train is so BIG and you can’t take it.
Passenger: Its really funny! Now say me, will this train take me to Bangalore?
Station Master: NO ma’am. The train can’t take you. The train driver will drive it to Bangalore!

The passenger fainted!

[HotPig]

According to my parents,
Every problem has only
one solution,
“Just throw away the damn phone” …

Nein my friend.
Every problem has this magical solution that is so magical, that it's shocking that its looked down upon.
This solution is......


Duct tape.
Yessir, this is the magical solution to all your problems!
Broken chair leg? Duct tape it back!
Broken glass? Duct tape it back!
Wanna get that annoying relative to shut up? Duct tape their mouths!
Heck, you can even duct tape a blackhole!

[bluemeatco]

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

[Bubblaboo]

What do you turtles use to communicate?

[Cobra]

What do you turtles use to communicate?

Are you bloody serious? I know it's going to be bad already...

[Bubblaboo]

What do you turtles use to communicate?

Are you bloody serious? I know it's going to be bad already...

A shellphone!!!

[Cobra]

A shellphone!!![/quote]
Absolutely awful.

[JordanDD]

What do you turtles use to communicate?

Are you bloody serious? I know it's going to be bad already...

A shellphone!!!

I laugh xD Its so stupid thst its funny xD You are not stupd by telling the joke, you are cool ! The joke is dtupid by the way, but when you get it its funny :')

[Bubblaboo]

A shellphone!!!

Absolutely awful.[/quote]
Come on, it wasn't that bad.

[Cobra]

A shellphone!!!

Absolutely awful.

Come on, it wasn't that bad.[/quote]
It was pretty bad.

[Bubblaboo]

I laugh xD Its so stupid thst its funny xD You are not stupd by telling the joke, you are cool ! The joke is dtupid by the way, but when you get it its funny :')[/quote]
I'm literally just google searching "bad jokes"

--- 26 Apr 2015, 11:00 ---

I laugh xD Its so stupid thst its funny xD You are not stupd by telling the joke, you are cool ! The joke is dtupid by the way, but when you get it its funny :')

I'm literally just google searching "bad jokes"[/quote]

Oops, something wrong happened with my quote

[Cobra]

Happened to me too, Bubblaloo lol

[Bubblaboo]

has to do with the /quote thing, it shows up on the last text but not the first. I think that's the problem.

[Cobra]

has to do with the /quote thing, it shows up on the last text but not the first. I think that's the problem.

yeah when you get rid of [quote="user"] it doesn't work properly.

[mell678]

Jay, Tom and Paul were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a 75-story hotel. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken, and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Jay said to Tom and Paul, “Let’s break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights, Tom can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Paul will tell sad stories for the rest of the way.”

At the 26th floor, Jay stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor, Tom stopped singing and Paul began to tell sad stories.

“I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I left the room key in the car.”