[bluemeatco]

"shellphone' please. stop.


i lol'd

[vathsala]

A teacher is talking to a student.
Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

[jade100]

haha, your joke made me hurt my ego knowing I dont have those talents LOL

[Cloudlin]

Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."

[mell678]

A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5.

[vathsala]

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

[paozits]

Are you a parking ticket? Cuz you’ve got fine written all over you.

Bad pick up lines are the best jokes IMO.

[mell678]

do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

[paozits]

I was going to tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

[ksridharprasad]

Pappu went to a country and had a meeting with President..
President : Please come with me, I want to show you that how much advance we are? and He takes Pappu to a forest.
President : Dig the ground. And Pappu did it.
President : More...More... and More... and Pappu went upto 100 Feet.
President : So now, try to search something.
Pappu : I got a Wire.
President : You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.
Pappu became frustrated.
He invited that President to India and He came after 1 year.
Pappu : I want to show you our advancement. The same he takes President to a forest.
Pappu : Dig the ground. And President does.
Pappu : More...More... and More... and President goes upto almost 400 feet
Pappu : So now, try to find out something.
President : No, there is nothing here.
Pappu : You know, it shows that even 400 years ago, we used to have WIRELESS Mobile !!!
President Shocked Pappu Rocked!!!!

--- 29 Apr 2015, 12:13 ---

A suspicious wife at office calls her husband.
Wife : Where are you?
Husband : At home love.
Wife : Are you sure?
Husband : Yes.
Wife : Turn on the mixer.
Husband : (turns mixer on) Rrrreeereeeereeee...
Wife : Ok my love goodbye.
Wife : Another Day again She asks...Where are you?
Husband : At home love.
Wife : Are you sure?
Husband : Yes.
Wife : Turn on the mixer.
Husband : (turns mixer on) Rrrreeereeeereeee...
Wife : Ok my love goodbye.
The next day, the wife decides to go home without notice, and finds her son alone
and she asks him, "Son, where is your father?"
Son: "I don't know, he went out with the mixer

[jade100]

Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."

haha , this one is funny . best reason ever!

[Vens]

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walked in to a bar.

Then he sat down and ordered a drink.

[jade100]

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walked in to a bar.

Then he sat down and ordered a drink.

those are just one person right ? the rapist priest? haha

[Pollex4]

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walked in to a bar.

Then he sat down and ordered a drink.

Oh no haha

[jade100]

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walked in to a bar.

Then he sat down and ordered a drink.

Oh no haha

the evil priest - branded LOL

[vathsala]

Two children are talking.

A: Meet my new born brother.
B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?
A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.

[paozits]

Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator?
He didn't want to see the salad dressing.

[jade100]

Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator?
He didn't want to see the salad dressing.

haha that made my day

[ksridharprasad]

Pappu rings a call centre and complaining about his Internet

Pappu : My internet is not working properly

Officer : Ok, Double click on "My computer"

Pappu : I can't see ur computer

Officer : No no, click on "My computer" on ur computer

Pappu : How can I click on ur computer from my computer?

Officer : listen, There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on ur computer. Ok double click on it

Pappu : what the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..?

Officer : Double click on ur computer

Pappu : On which Icon i've to click

Officer : "My Computer"

Pappu : Oh u fool......

Tell me where is ur office. I'll come there and click on ur "Computer."??

[paozits]

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!