[ksridharprasad]

One day Pappu visited a 5-star hotel in Paris.
As he sat enjoying his wine, a sexy French chick came to his table.
and asked him something in French, which he didn't understand.

He invited her to sit down, took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass.

She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After a while, he took another napkin, drew a picture of a plate with food on it , and she nodded.

They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing

She nodded, and they got up to dance.

When they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a screw.

Till date, he is scratching his head to figure out how the chick knew about his hardware store in Chandigarh

[prometeheus]

GYNECOLOGICAL ECHO


A woman goes to the gynecologist for an exam. She puts her feet into the stirrups and the doctor begins his exam.

After a moment, he says, "You have an unusually deep vagina."

The woman replies, "You don't have to say it twice."

The doctor says, "I didn't."

[ksridharprasad]

A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!"

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said, "Quick! Bring me another beer! It's gonna start!"

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, "Quickly! Another beer! It's gonna start any second!"

"That's it!" She says, "You idiot! You don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave! Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh God... again It's started."

[vathsala]

Patient : In my dreams rats play football every night
Doctor : Take this tablet, You will be alright
Patient : Can i take tomorrow. tonight is final game

[ksridharprasad]

Ramesh and Suresh two are good friends met after 14 yrs.

Ramesh : How are you?

Suresh : Fine and you.

Ramesh : Ok and tell me how may children's you have?

Suresh : 2 and what about you?

Ramesh : I have 14 children's.

Suresh : What the hell you did, y like that, do u have any sense of what u did?

Ramesh : At the time of marriage my in-laws told "should not keep my daughter with EMPTY stomach a single day". so I'm trying my level best to full her stomach.

Suresh : hmmm

--- 06 Jun 2015, 16:01 ---

Ramesh and Suresh two are good friends met after 14 yrs.

Ramesh : How are you?

Suresh : Fine and you.

Ramesh : Ok and tell me how may children's you have?

Suresh : 2 and what about you?

Ramesh : I have 14 children's.

Suresh : What the hell you did, y like that, do u have any sense of what u did?

Ramesh : At the time of marriage my in-laws told "should not keep my daughter with EMPTY stomach a single day". so I'm trying my level best to full her stomach.

Suresh : hmmm

[vathsala]

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!

Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

[ksridharprasad]

A famous inspirational speaker said:

"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"

Audience was in shock and silence..

He added: "she was my mother"

A big round of applause & laughter!

[vathsala]

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Guide: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Guide : That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

[vathsala]

Santha was busy scratching his head on a mall

Banta : What happened ?
Santha: You also do , There is a poster. " scratch and win a BMW '

[Timanris]

Wilfred had just learned his ABCs and was very scared of reciting them in front of his class. He stood in front of the class trembling and began.
"ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ."
His teacher said, "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P?
He replied, "It's running down my leg."

[shadypro]

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?

[+] Spoiler

An animal that can milk itself.

[Torre246]

What's the difference between a crow and a rapper?

One makes loud, obnoxious noises and the other is a bird.

[ksridharprasad]

An Indian girl married a Spanish man & went to Spain..

She can't speak Spanish..

Each time she wants to buy chicken legs,
She would lift her skirt & show her Legs to enable the seller understand her...

This went on for sometime..

One day she wanted to buy Banana..So She took her husband to the shop..

Do you know Why??

Hey you.... Don't laugh......

Just Because of her husband can speak Spanish!!!

Soch Badlo..Desh Badlega

[haleeim]

I'd just like to say that the rep I gave to Fowler for that post, was for adding the "Spoiler" tag, not for the quality of his joke

[prometeheus]

A doctor asks a patient:
- Sir, were you using a condom during the last time you had sex?
- Doctor, what do you mean by “the last time”?
Read more at http://www.funny-jokes-quotes.com/medic ... lIVZX1g.99

[prometeheus]

There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?" The man says, "I found out that my son is gay." The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."

[ksridharprasad]

"How to Kill an Ant??", The Question asked in an Exam for 15 Marks!!


Student Answered The Question As Below.


Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar & keep It Outside the Ant's Hole..!

After eating, Ant will Search for some Water near a Water Tank. Then Push Ant in to it..!!

Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire, When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into the fire..!!

Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!!

And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it's Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !!


MORAL: Don't Play with Students.. !! They can do any thing for 15 Marks..

[vathsala]

Judge : why were u arrested ?
Thief : For shopping early
Judge : Well, that is not a crime. Anyway, how early were you shopping ?
Thief : Before the shop opened

[mell678]

Teacher : Harold what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A Teacher.

[vathsala]

Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
Pupil : No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I gave them last week.