[verity]

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

[Tendz]

“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it"– Laurence J. Peter

[verity]

I do not fear Satan half so much as I fear those who fear him.

[Avian]

You're only as good as your last haircut - Fran Lebowitz

[verity]

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

[Tendz]

“If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out"– Lawrence Ferlinghetti

[verity]

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

[Avian]

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

[verity]

Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.

[Tendz]

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific"– Lily Tomlin

[verity]

Art is a lie that makes us realize truth.

[Avian]

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them.

[verity]

Ignorant men raise questions that wise men answered a thousand years ago.

[Tendz]

“The road to success is always under construction"– Lily Tomlin

[Avian]

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house - George Carlin

[verity]

Sometimes there is more exploration in the character for a villain. j

[Abigael]

I thought Europe was a country - Kellie Pickler

Haha! That's so funny. I don't have any funny quotes today.

[verity]

Don't let your sins turn into bad habits.

[Tendz]

“Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard"– Margaret Culkin Banning

[Avian]

If you run like your mouth, you'd be in good shape