[Tendz]

Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?
A: Nobodynose.

[anil02]

What you call a train carrying bublegum
A chew, chew train

[Tendz]

Q: Why are hairdressers never late for work?
A: Because they know all the short cuts!

[anil02]

Boy : I am breaking with you.
Girl : OK bye
Boy you will never find like me
Girl : Thanks God

[Tendz]

A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, "An enemy ship is approaching us!"
The captain replies calmly, "Go get my red shirt." The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win.
The soldier asks, "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?"
The captain replies, "If I got injured, my blood shouldn't be seen, as I didn't want my men to lose hope."
Just then, another soldier runs up and says, "Sir, we just spotted another twenty enemy ships!"
The captain calmly replies, "Go bring my yellow pants."

[anil02]

A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, "An enemy ship is approaching us!"
The captain replies calmly, "Go get my red shirt." The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win.
The soldier asks, "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?"
The captain replies, "If I got injured, my blood shouldn't be seen, as I didn't want my men to lose hope."
Just then, another soldier runs up and says, "Sir, we just spotted another twenty enemy ships!"
The captain calmly replies, "Go bring my yellow pants."

Funny Maja aa gya

[Tendz]

Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

[anil02]

How to reduce weight?
First turn your head to the right and then to the left.
Repeat this one whenever you have given something to eat!

[Tendz]

Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the friggin boat!"

[anil02]

I love everybody.

Some I love to be around,
Some I love to avoid,
and
others I would love to punch in the face.

[Ezzyoj]

Always find a time to laugh, it cool off stress

[Abigael]

I would lose weight, but I hate losing.

[Tendz]

Q: Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?
A: Because she wanted to rock and roll.

[Abigael]

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her!

[anil02]

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her!

Your jock is 2 in on saying and humar

[Tendz]

During an impassioned sermon about death and final judgement, the pastor said forcefully, "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement." Glancing down at the front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on his face. The minister repeated his point louder. "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!" The man nodded and smiled even more. This really got the preacher wound up. Though everyone else in the congregation was looking somber, the man in front continued to smile. Finally the preacher stepped off the platform, stood in front of the man and shouted, "I said each member of this church is going to die!" The man grinned from ear to ear. After the service was over, the preacher made a beeline for the man. "I don't get it," the preacher said in frustration. "Whenever I said, 'Each member of this church is going to die,' your smile got bigger. Why?" The man replied, "I'm not a member of this church".

[anil02]

My girlfriend said she wants me
to make her feel like she is the only girl in the world.
So I'm going to drop her off in the desert and leave!

[Smoba doms]

Hmmn laughter 😂 of pain

[Abigael]

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

[Tendz]

Q: Did you hear about the guy who dreamed he was eating a giant marshmallow?
A: When he woke up, his pillow was gone.