[anil02]

What is difference between coffee shop and wine shop
Santa : very simple love started in coffee shop and end in wine shop

[Abigael]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

[Tendz]

A man called his child's doctor, "Hello! My son just snatched my pen when I was writing and swallowed it. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Until I can come over, write with another pen."

[Abigael]

I once prayed to God for a bike but quickly found out He didn't work that way—so I stole a bike and prayed for His forgiveness.

[anil02]

I love everybody.

Some I love to be around,
Some I love to avoid,
and
others I would love to punch in the face.

[Ezzyoj]

I can't stop loving every single person including my ex girlfriend

[Tendz]

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick.

[anil02]

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

[Tendz]

Q: If you were forced to go through one of the following doors, which door do you go through with 100 % certainty you'd stay alive: a door with a man with a gun behind it, a door with a tiger who hasn't eaten in 7 years behind it, or a door with an electrical chair behind it?
A: The one with the tiger behind it, because if it hasn't eaten in 7 years it's dead.

[Abigael]

Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay. So if you keep reading, you'll go broke.

[anil02]

Whenever you feel worthless, remember. You were once the quickest sperm cell.

[LK200]

A letter from girlfriend to boyfriend
Dear lofe(love)
I miss you so much darling. Do not feel bad as I am going to school to learn so that you do not defeat me in clever

[Tendz]

Q. What's a shark's favorite sandwich?
A. Peanut butter and jellyfish!

[anil02]

If you think your boss is stupid.
Remember,
You would not get the job.
If he was smarter.

[Tendz]

Q: Why did the painting go to jail?
A: It was framed.

[anil02]

Girl- your new mobile is very cute. How much does it cost?
Boy- Darling I won in a "Race" - Daur.
Girl-how many people were in the race?
Boy- mobile shop owner, 3 policemen and I.....

[Tendz]

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time.

[anil02]

Money Doesn't Grow On Trees
Mom!!!! money is made from
paper & paper comes from trees.
Therefore your argument is
invalid..

[LK200]

A lady goes for a date with her boyfriend. They give out their orders and the waiter gets late on serving them.
Waiter:sorry fot taking long to serve you.
Lady:where were you? You put us so much waiting for you!

[Tendz]

There are three friends named Mad, Brain, and Fight. One day Fight went missing and his friends Mad and Brain started searching for him. Then Brain said, "Mad, let's file a missing person report with the police." When they were about to walk into the police station, Brain said, "Mad, you go and make the report. I will wait for you here." Mad walked in but no police officers paid attention to him. Then he saw a policeman drinking a cup of coffee. Mad went to the officer, smacked the table, and the cup of coffee flew in the air, landing in the officer's lap. Angry, the policeman asked, "Are you looking for a fight?" Mad replied, "Yes, I am." The policeman asked, "Are you mad?" Mad replied, "Yes, I am Mad." The policeman then asked, "Don't you have a brain?" Mad replied, "Brain is outside sir."