[Abigael]

Words can only hurt you if you try to read them. Don't play their game.

[Tendz]

Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: Between you and me, there's something that smells.

[anil02]

A lady tourist went to a country on a vacation. In the evening, she was toddling on the beach. A security person came to her and said, ‘Mam only one-piece is allowed here.’ The lady was awe, thinking which one to open.

[Tendz]

A mom and a son come home from the grocery store. The boy immediately empties out a box of animal crackers and the mom asks him why. The boy says, "You should not eat it if the seal is broken, so I'm looking for the seal."

[Abigael]

It's been 243 days since my last attempt to take over the world. I've been distracted by my current mission: to leave everyone uninformed and clueless.

[anil02]

A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar: Is that a sun or moon? Other Sardar replies: Oye! No idea… I’m new to this city.

[Tendz]

Teacher: "Where was the Constitution of India signed?"
Student: "At the bottom of the page!"

[Abigael]

When a fly or small bug lands on your computer screen, has your first reaction ever been to try and scare it with the cursor?

[anil02]

My eyes detected
My heart reacted
Thousand were rejected &
Only you were selected.
Because I needed a monkey for an advertisement.

[Tendz]

Jim, Scott and Alex are tired after traveling all day and check into a hotel. When they get to reception, they find out they'll have to walk 75 flights of stairs to get to their room because the elevator is out of order. Jim suggests that they do something interesting to pass time while they walk the 75 flights. Jim will tell jokes, Scott will sing songs, and Alex will tell sad stories. So Jim tells jokes for 25 flights, Scott sings songs for 25 flights and Alex tells sad stories for 24 flights. When they reach the 75th floor, Alex tells his saddest story of all, "Guys, I left our room key at reception."

[anil02]

I have lots of jokes in my inbox,
jokes in Hindi
jokes in English
But I can’t send you all of them,
It will take a lot of time,
So, I’m sending you just 1 joke
Very funny
Funniest One
Full of Laugh N Comedy
.
“You are so beautiful”

[Tendz]

Two old friends crossed paths after not seeing one another for almost a decade.
Sam: "What are you doing these days?"
Ted: "PHD."
Sam: "Wow! You're a doctor!"
Ted: "No, Pizza Home Delivery."

[anil02]

A family comes out of an electronic shop,
Son holds ‘iPad’
Daughter holds ‘iPod’
Mother holds ‘iPhone’
Father is holding a banner that says |_I paid_|

[Tendz]

Fred: "Why do elephants wear red nail polish?"
Bob: "I don't know, why?"
Fred: "To hide in cherry trees."
Bob: "But I've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree."
Fred: "See, it works."

[Abigael]

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, "Parking Fine."

[anil02]

A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with bread & water. Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Salakhen! My God! I’ve killed the motorist.

[GuestHu]

What did the pokemon say after having too much sex?

Vulva Sore.

[Tendz]

Q: What do cars eat on their toast?
A: Traffic jam.

[Abigael]

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I don't want to sound paranoid, but I was pretty sure people were following me.

[anil02]

Smiles = 1 Meeting
7 Meetings = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposals = 1 Marriage
And that 1 marriage has 77777+
problems