[Anushajain]

A Perfect Girl Doesn’t Bother…
Doesn’t Shout.. Doesn’t Flirt With Others..
Doesn’t Lies.. Doesn’t Cheat..
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And Doesn’t ExiSts..

Clappinggg

[TimeRider]

A young girl came home from a date looking sad. She told her mother, “Charles proposed to me a few minutes ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also mentioned he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t believe there’s hell!”
Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”

[Anushajain]

Impact of Job Change:

A taxi passenger touched d driver on shouldr 2 ask smthng

Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath & Stopped few centimeters frm a shop

The driver said:
“Don’t ever do that again, u scared me”

Pasengr apologized n said:
“I didn’t realize a litle touch wud scare u so much”

Driver replied:
“Sory, it’s nt ur fault
its my 1st day as a Cab driver, I’ve been driving a van carying dead bodies for last 25 yrs;-)

[shamzblueworld]

When u r Single,
You See Happy Couples Everywhere,

,

But

,

When u r Married,
You See Happy Singles Everywhere…

True that. Experienced!

[TimeRider]

A guy walks into a bar, sits at the counter and said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender" on my tab. Every one got a drink and thanked the man. After a while he man said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender. Put it on my tab." Everybody got their drinks and thanked the man. The bar tender pulled the man to the side and asked him "You know this is going to be a lot of money, can you pay for this? The man said "No". The bar tender took the man in the back, beat him up, and threw him out the back door. The man brushed himself off, and went back into the bar. He sat down and said "Drinks, everybody, on me. Except for you bartender, you don't know how to act when you get drunk"

[Anushajain]

1999 Kids : I want my bed near Window
to see the moon&stars.
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2013 Kids : I want my bed near the
mobile charging slot..

[shamzblueworld]

TEACHER: If I give you 2cats and another 2cats and another 2 cats, how many cats will you have?

Student: Seven, Sir.

TEACHER: No, listen carefully. If give you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many will you have?

Student: Seven.

TEACHER: Let me put it to you differently. If I give you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2 apples, how many will you have?

Student: Six.

TEACHER: Good. Now if I give you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many cats you will have?

Student: Seven!!!

Angry TEACHER: Where did you get Your seven from?

Student: (Angrily!) Because I already get 1 cat for House!

[Anushajain]

As years go,U may loose ur Hair, Teeth &
Eyesight.But not ur Talent, Brightness &
Intelligence.
Bcoz,U can never loose which U don’t have:-D:-P

Short But True !!!

[TimeRider]

A rookie was calling up his station on his pocket radio.
“I’m outside the Plaza Mall,” he reported. “A man has been robbed
I’ve got one them.”
“Which one?” asked the operator.
“The one that was robbed.”

[Anushajain]

Tried practicing Fruit Ninja in the kitchen, ended up playing Temple Run with my mom chasing me like an Angry Bird…

[TimeRider]

Blonde and Cool Elephants
Previous Next

Q: What did the blonde say when she saw a herd of elephants with sunglasses on?

A: Nothing, she didn't recognize them.

[Anushajain]

A girl realizes the pain of Break-up only when
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She has to pay the Pizza bill herself..

[TimeRider]

There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?" The man says, "I found out that my son is gay." The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The man looks up and says, "Apparently my wife does."

[Anushajain]

He requested 2 get it fixed.When the cycle came back with the Carrier fitted,he noted that now the Stand isnt there.
He asked about the missing Stand.
Organisation: Private Nokri me 1 cheez he possible he.
CAREER ya STAND.
Agr STAND lo gy to CAREER khatam aur agar CAREER banana he to STAND kabhi mat lena.
Dedicated 2 all Private Employees.

[Fergal]

Anusha, please use English text only, honestly I have no idea what that joke means.

[Anushajain]

Anusha, please use English text only, honestly I have no idea what that joke means.

Ohk Fergal...I will take care..

[TimeRider]

Teacher : whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window Teacher : who just threw that?! Boy : Me! I’m going home now.

[Anushajain]

An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one day, he stood behind her
while she was sitting in her chair. He spoke softly
to her, “Honey, can you hear me?”

There was no response. He moved a little closer and said again, “Honey, can you hear me?”

Still, there was no response. Finally, he moved right behind her and said, “Honey, can you hear me?”

She replied, “for the third time, yes!”

[TimeRider]

Death: It's your time. give me your hand Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I'll never die! Death: Holy sh*t! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five! Blonde: *high fives* Death: Typical blonde... Dumbass...

[Anushajain]

One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a genie appeared.

“I’ll grant you your fondest wish,” the genie said.

The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job – a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do.”

“Poof!” said the genie. “You are a housewife.”