[Abigael]

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, “Honey, if I died would you get married again?” The husband said, “No sweetie.” The woman said, “I’m sure you would.” So the man said, “Okay, I would” Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?” And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.” Then the wife asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?” And the husband replied, “No, she’s left handed.”

[Tendz]

Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many Cheetahs!

[Abigael]

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”

[Tendz]

Q: What is tall when it's young and short when it's old?
A: A candle.

[Ddiya]

Question: Why Mickey mouse is called as Mickey mouse?

Ans: Why because he is a mouse and his

name is Mickey

! Hope those who reading this won't throw mobile/laptop like me for this boring one

[Tendz]

A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"

[Abigael]

Q: What is the longest word in the English language?

A: ‘Smiles’. Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.

[Tendz]

Q: Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
A: Cause he was outstanding in his field.

[Abigael]

Did you hear about the man who was convicted of stealing luggage from the airport? He asked for twenty other cases to be taken into account.

[Tendz]

Q: Why do seagles fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagles!

[Abigael]

Husband sent a text to wife at night,
“Hi I will get late, plz try and wash all my dirty clothes
And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
He sent another text, “I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in
My salary at the end of month I’m getting u a new car”
She text back, “Omg really?”
Husband Replied: “No I just wanted to make sure u got my 1st msg.”

[Tendz]

Q: Where do bees go to the toilet?
A: The BP station.

[anil02]

Husband sent a text to wife at night,
“Hi I will get late, plz try and wash all my dirty clothes
And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
He sent another text, “I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in
My salary at the end of month I’m getting u a new car”
She text back, “Omg really?”
Husband Replied: “No I just wanted to make sure u got my 1st msg.”

funny

[Tendz]

I’m looking for a bank which can perform two things;
Give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

[anil02]

My girlfriend is like my iPhone.
I don’t have an iPhone.

[Tendz]

Q : Why do museums have old dinosaur bones ?
A : Because they can't afford new ones.

[Abigael]

Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife, “He’s been crying the whole way home. Isn’t he sick or something?” “No,” replies the wife, “he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our son John”😂😂

[Yugocean]

My girlfriend is like my iPhone.
I don’t have an iPhone.

I never had iPhone either.

[Tendz]

Q: What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A: A vigilanty!

[anil02]

1 naughty small kids purposing Madam- I luv you Madam
Madam- I hate children..
Kid-He said with a smile, I will try that ...not to have kids