[Tendz]

Q: What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A: A rocket chip!

[Abigael]

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

[Tendz]

Q: What has ears but cannot hear?
A: cornfield

[anil02]

Thoughts for the night:
Don’t waste time by thinking about your past or future!
Better kill some mosquitoes in that time.
So, that you can sleep better!

[Tendz]

Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A: Between us, something smells!

[anil02]

Rose Is Red, Sky Is Blue A
Friend Like You Should Be Kept
In Zoo, Don’t Mind… There
You Will Find Me Too, Not In
A Cage, But Laughing at You.

[Tendz]

Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

[Abigael]

Wife:
Today, I want to relax,
so I have brought three movie tickets.

Husband: why three tickets?

Wife: you and your parents.

[Tendz]

Q: When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
A: Because when you find it, you stop looking.

[anil02]

Do you know
how it feels to love
someone who doesnt
love you ?
.
.
.
.
.
Its like
waiting for a boat at the airport

[Tendz]

Q: What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A: A coconut on vacation.

[Abigael]

Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.
Waitress: Oh, that’s okay. The soup isn’t hot.

[Tendz]

Q: Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
A: Dill with it.

[anil02]

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, “What are your parents’ names?” The student replied, “My father’s name is Laughing and my mother’s name is Smiling.” The teacher said, “Are you kidding?” The student said, “No, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking.”

[Tendz]

Q: What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
A: That hit the spot!

[Abigael]

You know there's no official training for trash collectors? They just pick things up as they go along.

[Tendz]

Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

[anil02]

A guy visits his girl. She goes in kitchen to make coffee. Boy sees her phone. What she must have saved my name as? Calls. The phone screen reads: Idiot no. 5

[Tendz]

Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
A: He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

[MattTolentino02]

I have a fear of speed bumps.
But I am slowly getting over it.

- this one is from RD.