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Let your little sons cry

Postby Netherrealmer » 20 Jun 2024, 17:13

Move over, heart disease, there's a new sheriff in town when it comes to claiming the lives of fellas under 50: suicide. That's right, folks, more men kick the bucket from self-inflicted heartbreak than clogged arteries. Now, why is that? Buckle up, because it's about to get a little less "bro" and a whole lot more "feelings." Turns out, society's been telling our sons since they were rocking diapers that tears are Kryptonite to masculinity. The message? Cry, and you're basically public enemy number one in the land of manliness. This, my friends, is a recipe for emotional constipation, leaving a whole lot of men with zero healthy ways to deal with stress and depression. But here's the shocker: showing your vulnerability isn't some emasculating weakness, it's actually a superpower for your mental health.



The Silent Threat: Suicide and the Stigma of Male Vulnerability

Suicide. It's a heavy word, one that often carries a shroud of silence, particularly when it comes to men under 50. Yet, here it is, the leading cause of death for this demographic, outpacing even the likes of car accidents and heart disease. Why the grim statistics? It all boils down to a societal script that casts a tight leash on male emotions.

The Macho Myth: Boys Don't Cry

From a young age, boys are bombarded with a message that equates tears with weakness. "Big boys don't cry," they hear, a phrase that might as well translate to "bottling up your emotions is the key to manhood." This creates a generation of men who struggle to express themselves, leaving them ill-equipped to handle the inevitable emotional storms of life. Imagine a pressure cooker with a faulty safety valve – that's what happens when you prevent men from releasing their emotional steam.

The Cost of Holding Back: Stress, Depression, and Beyond


The inability to express vulnerability can have serious consequences. Stress becomes a chronic roommate, finding a comfy spot on the couch and refusing to leave. Depression creeps in, whispering negativity into their ears. Relationships suffer as communication becomes a one-way street paved with unspoken feelings.

Let's not forget the physical toll. Studies have shown that bottling up emotions can weaken the immune system and increase the risk of heart disease. It's like constantly tensing your muscles – eventually, something's going to give.

The Strength of Vulnerability: Redefining Manliness

Here's the plot twist: vulnerability isn't weakness, it's strength. It takes courage to open up and share your true feelings, to face your vulnerabilities head-on. Don't get it confused with being a pushover – vulnerability is about being authentic and emotionally connected. It's about having a good cry after a tough day, talking to a friend about anxieties, or simply admitting you need help.

Imagine a world where men can celebrate their full range of emotions, where seeking support isn't seen as shameful, but as a sign of strength and self-awareness. This isn't some touchy-feely utopia – it's about creating a healthier generation of men.

Building a Support System: Where Do We Begin?

So, how do we dismantle this outdated script of "manliness" and embrace vulnerability? It starts with conversation. Let's talk to our sons, our fathers, our friends, about the importance of expressing themselves. Let's redefine what it means to be a man. It's okay to not have all the answers, to feel scared, or to need a shoulder to cry on.

Let's normalize therapy and create safe spaces for men to open up. We can start small, like hosting men's circles where guys can connect and share their experiences. We can celebrate celebrities who openly talk about their mental health struggles, chipping away at the stigma attached to seeking help.

The Takeaway: Vulnerability – The New Manliness


Suicide is a complex issue, but dismantling the societal stigma against male vulnerability is a crucial step in the right direction. Let's create a world where men can be strong and stoic when needed, but also show their softer side without fear of judgment. Remember, vulnerability isn't a weakness – it's the emotional Kryptonite to those leading causes of death. Let's encourage our men to shed a tear (or a bucket, who are we to judge?) and embrace the liberating power of vulnerability.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby Jem Smith » 20 Jun 2024, 22:51

Absolutely. This is how patriarchy hurts men too. Boys and men need to be free to express emotions other than just anger.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby Netherrealmer » 21 Jun 2024, 07:28

My dad use to beat me up when I cry because of the belief boys should not cry
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby Jem Smith » 21 Jun 2024, 09:36

Netherrealmer wrote:My dad use to beat me up when I cry because of the belief boys should not cry


That's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby Netherrealmer » 22 Jun 2024, 05:04

Its the norm in most eastern countries. Particularly Asia where beating up children is a norm.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby Angie10 » 22 Jun 2024, 19:09

I love this article... thanks, @Netherrealmer <3 I absolutely hate how men are put under so much unnecessary pressure, the double standards that we have to contend with yet we want to believe it's all about gender equality!! No wonder our brothers and other male friends and family struggle to confide in us!! :( We are all human, we hurt the same and to me, a man who shows some vulnerability, crying included, is no weaker than the one who society says is the true definition of masculinity. It needs to stop.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby Jem Smith » 28 Jun 2024, 18:03

Netherrealmer wrote:Its the norm in most eastern countries. Particularly Asia where beating up children is a norm.


It was the norm here too for a long time. Thankfully not so much any more. People do still tell boys it's not okay to cry though, and also that it's not manly to touch each other (like hugs, giving physical comfort). It puts a lot of pressure on a woman to be in a relationship with someone who thinks of her as the only person he's allowed to have physical intimacy with. It's no wonder some men become controlling about women's bodies.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby sweerie_banana » 29 Jun 2024, 12:39

Emotions are a fundamental part of being human. Experiencing and expressing a full range of emotions is a natural and healthy part of life. We should work hard to change these norms.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby Netherrealmer » 04 Jan 2025, 17:23

To make it worst we have people like Tate who is trying to demonize crying again :crazy:
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby Jem Smith » 26 Jan 2025, 16:29

Netherrealmer wrote:To make it worst we have people like Tate who is trying to demonize crying again :crazy:


Yep. He's all about the toxic masculinity.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby germainebull » 03 Jan 2026, 12:42

Netherrealmer wrote:From a young age, boys are bombarded with a message that equates tears with weakness. "Big boys don't cry," they hear, a phrase that might as well translate to "bottling up your emotions is the key to manhood." This creates a generation of men who struggle to express themselves, leaving them ill-equipped to handle the inevitable emotional storms of life. Imagine a pressure cooker with a faulty safety valve – that's what happens when you prevent men from releasing their emotional steam.


The message that men shouldn't cry is a bad stereotype that makes them unable to express their feelings and ends up being like a pressure cooker that could explode at any moment. This situation creates serious mental health problems.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby eldavis » 04 Jan 2026, 10:23

sweerie_banana wrote:Emotions are a fundamental part of being human. Experiencing and expressing a full range of emotions is a natural and healthy part of life. We should work hard to change these norms.



I completely agree with you, emotions are part of what makes us humans, the key is to learn how to control ig so you don't get consumed.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby Netherrealmer » 04 Jan 2026, 18:07

More men commit suicide, and one of the reasons is they can't control their emotions because, you know, they're forbidden to cry when they were young. So it's harder for them to face the problem.
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Re: Let your little sons cry

Postby germainebull » 05 Jan 2026, 09:25

Netherrealmer wrote:So, how do we dismantle this outdated script of "manliness" and embrace vulnerability? It starts with conversation. Let's talk to our sons, our fathers, our friends, about the importance of expressing themselves. Let's redefine what it means to be a man. It's okay to not have all the answers, to feel scared, or to need a shoulder to cry on.


We need to start changing these old games by talking openly with our fellow men about feelings without fear. Being a man is not about hiding your pain but having the courage to admit your vulnerability.
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